The Human Systems Engineer™

It was the Fall of 2016, I stood in the lobby of my apartment in Irvine, California. As my coffee was brewing, Kristin looked at me and my TBP outfit and guessed correctly. “I should probably hire a trainer.” She smirked, pocking her tummy. People say this a lot to me. Most times, they’re not serious, so I took a wif of my freshly brewed coffee and smiled. Kristen then casually mentioned that her house burned down in the recent round of fires. I was shocked, not by the fire, but by her...

I saw my client race through the parking lot and slam on his brakes. He jumped out of his car and completely forgot to say hi to me. He just rushed straight into the studio. Life was happening, and I knew right away he was in total turmoil. He looked right at me and said, "I don't want to do that. I just want to go for a run." He wanted to get out there and get it done without stretching. It's like a lot of people who refuse to stretch. They feel like they don't have time to slow down. They...

Jagger was screaming! He was sitting up with his eyes closed and his mouth wide open. The piercing sound bounced off the walls in the middle of the day. That's when I saw him, grabbed him, and hugged him tight. Courtney was right behind me. It hurts deep when your child hurts "Did the Cucuis get you?" I asked. I was quick to blame the Cucuis on Mama Sofia. I was quick to look out the window instead of looking in the mirror. We completely forgot that we were the ones letting him watch...

The screaming came loud and fast. It jolted Courtney and me awake. It's 10:00 p.m. and we can hear Jagger's absolute panic. He's crying hysterically. We rushed downstairs to grab him, and the night from hell officially started. Jagger was inconsolable. He was shaking, sweating, and screaming at the top of his lungs. It was a deafening, piercing noise that instantly sliced through Courtney's soul. We didn't know what was wrong. We were completely exhausted. I struggled to maintain my cool. We...

We just switched my son Jagger to his toddler bed. He did okay for the first few nights. Then Mama Sofia came to visit. She decided to tell my two-year-old about the Cucui. I remember her telling me about the Cucui when I was little. She used it to get me to listen or go where she wanted me to go. I don't use that word in our house. I've been scared of it my whole life. I'm still trying to fight my own demons. I definitely don't want Jagger's room to be a place where monsters exist. Fear is a...

Hey Reader, My phone buzzed while I was out walking my golden retriever, Kona, and my son, Jagger. It was a message from my client Karla. She's tackling her first triathlon, an Ironman 70.3. Her message stopped me right in the middle of the street. "I am terrified!" she wrote. "I know you say to live in the moment and not worry about the future. But I can't stop crying thinking about it." I stood there and looked down into little Jagger's eyes. My heart sank a bit. I knew that one day, he'd...

I heard the couch tearing up my wall... The ill-equipped movers were trying to jam my sectional through the front door. It was 10:05 p.m. and well past their 6:00 p.m. deadline. Then, one of the movers walked in carrying a heavy box. The box was clearly labeled "Kitchen" in big letters. He looked at Courtney and asked, "Where?" Courtney gave him that "Are you kidding me?" look. She shook her head and said, "The kitchen." Rats. We were completely exhausted and losing our patience. Jagger was...

It was Friday morning, the movers were coming, and we needed everything out by Sunday ... I looked at the functional trainer. I looked at all the cables and the bolts that had to be removed. Then I looked at the tools I had. I wanted to just roll up into a fetal position and cry. There was no way I was going to take this apart and have it make sense. But the chaos didn't stop there. Courtney was overwhelmed trying to pack up the studio for her Forensic Tales podcast. And in the middle of the...

"Boom!" It was a loud noise coming from upstairs. I didn't know what it was. But it was followed by a terrifying scream. I knew it was bad. I ran upstairs as fast as I could. Courtney sprinted right behind me. There was little Jagger on the ground. Crying hard. I swept him up and held him tight. Tears poured down his little cheeks. "He fell, he fell," I whispered. I tried to console him. That's exactly how our Monday morning started. Jagger jumped out of his crib. The thud was so loud it...